Day 462: Free at Last!

This is a short update cause I'm on my phone, but... the braces are off! Yesterday I went and they popped those suckers right off of my teeth. For those of you playing along at home, I'd had the braces for about 900 days (not including the time I had them as a kid), so it's a big relief.

Getting braces off is relatively simple, but it kinda hurts. And when they pull out the power tools to get the glue off, that kinda really hurts. But, all worth it in the end. I'm enjoying my two days of absolute freedom before I go in tomorrow and get my non-permanent appliances (yes plural, of course my retainer situation would be complicated). Best part of yesterday? Flossing! Flossing with braces is a nightmare, I hated it, so that's my favorite thing right now. More updates after tomorrow! Xo Beth

Day 365: Has It Only Been One Year?

Seems like it's been 4 or 5 at least! About this time last year, I was out of recovery and projectile vomiting blood all over my hospital bed... oh, the memories :)

8/23/11

Day 330: No More Surgeries!

Part I: Dr. Voorhees
I visited with the good doctor on July 9 and was most relieved to hear that he's not recommending surgery at this point, which is good since it was probably not a good option financially or emotionally. He did sign my physical therapy referral to see Jeff at North Star Manual Therapy and I'll go see Dr. Voorhees again in a month just to say "What's Up?!"

Part II: Dr. Ramsay
I saw Dr. Ramsay this morning (7/19), and I think he was a little off-put by how well the physical therapy seems to be going (he had declined to sign my referral form, resulting in the postponement of my initial appointment). But, he feels confident that the orthodontia should be able to close the right front quadrant. He set me up with a new rubber band formation, put a kink in my lower wire, and sent me on my way.

Sidebar: Excerpt from my phone conversation with Jared today:
Me: I'm giving him three more months - he's got until October and then I'm just going to have him take them off. I am SO SICK of being in braces (for those of you keeping track, I've had braces for a little over 8 years total, or 1/3 of my entire life). 
Jared: Well... (obviously deliberating so he can choose his words wisely) let's just... cross that bridge when we get there...
Apparently, being in a relationship with me is somewhat akin to learning how to be a hostage negotiator. 

Part III: Jeff, the physical therapist
Jeff is my ultrafabulous physical therapist. He's working to get my muscles to stop being little punks and just do what they should. Oh, and I have all these different exercises I'm supposed to do, too. It's never fun, and sometimes painful, but I think it's helping. Here are a few highlights:

1. My cervical spine is a little tilted, so he's fixing that himself through manual therapy
2. I tip my head back when I open my mouth, so I get to do embarrassing double-chin inducing exercises to work on that.
3. My lateral pterygoid is all sorts of angry and bitter. Jeff "massages" them on each side during my visits - he has to go in through my mouth! It's the most painful thing ever. And each week, as he's able to get further up into it, it gets more and more painful!

Lateral pterygoid massage

My favorite lesson in all this is as follows: being invested in my own health care. I've got a guy looking at the bones, a guy looking at the teeth, and a guy looking at the muscles. But who has to go home and live with the consequences of everything those guys do? Me! So I'm learning it's OK to speak up and question or challenge their methods or ideas as long as I do it respectfully. Contrary to my culturally implanted instinct, doctors do not know everything.

They do know some stuff though, so I guess I'll let them stick around.

Day 318: Last braces payment

47 days before a full year after my surgery, and also the day of my last braces payment EVER! It's half awesome, because I will now be $200 a month richer, but it's half bad because I'm still wearing them, and I was hoping to make a payment without them actually on, but oh well *shrug*

I was supposed to have my models appointment today, but it got pushed back to Monday, and then my manual therapy (physical therapy for the muscles in my jaw) appointment is on Tuesday. Super fun :)

Hope everybody had a good 4th of July!

10 Months Post-Op: You've Got to Be Kidding Me

I went in for my 6-month check up about 2 weeks ago, expecting Dr. Voorhees to make a joke about the fact that I was still in braces, tell me everything looked fine, and that he'd see me in a year.

That is not what happened. Here's what did:

Dr. Voorhees spent a solid 3-5 minutes having me bite down, relax, bite down, open, bite down (and so on), and then him sitting back in his chair with a guarded yet grim face. Things are not going as well as he'd hoped. Despite wearing my palate retainer this whole time, the bones on the right side (that pesky right side that's never quite felt right) seem to have shifted. He's not sure exactly what has happened, and won't have a clear picture until he does a work-up. He'll - or more realistically, one of the surgery techs will - take x-rays and molds. For those of you paying attention, this is essentially starting over at the beginning, with a consultation, even though it's post-op. So I go see him/aforementioned surgery techs on July 5 to do all that. Oh, boy

10 Months Post-Op Photo

He'll then perform a model surgery (surgery on the models he'll make from taking my molds) and see what's to be done. At this preliminary stage, before he has completely ALL the facts, here are some of the options:

1. He re-surgeries the maxilla on the horizontal plane, which is essentially a third of the original surgery.
2. He and Dr. Ramsay work together with some sort of splint situation to see if they can pull the bones back into place without surgery.
3. I say "No way, Jose," Dr. Ramsay does the best he can with braces and we all keep our fingers crossed that the headaches don't come back and the whole thing doesn't just slide back to where it was in an avalanche of frustration and muscles who have nothing better to do than make my life miserable. Muscles are jerks and I hate them.

You can see I'm handling this with a high level of maturity for which the situation obviously calls.

Anyway, now I'm playing the waiting game until mid-July, when everyone will have a better idea of what's going on. I'm going to see a physical therapist to see about the muscle surrounding the situation and if some tightness (or a lot of tightness) may be pulling the bones back.

At this point, the whole situation feels a little like a really uninteresting sitcom. I'll keep you guys posted after I hear back in July.

Day 177: Close Enough to 6 Months

6 months ago, Jared & I woke up at 5am, drove to the hospital, and waited patiently until the anesthesiology nurse came in to roll me to the OR. I still remember a few things about that day very vividly, and some only when I think about them really hard. Here's what's up 6 months later, which is generally considered the "it" point for this surgery. I'll start with the cons so I can end on a positive note.

Cons:

Open bite on the right side

• The lower left part of my chin/lip area is still dead. I say dead and not numb, because I get tingly when I poke at it, but it's not an altogether pleasant sensation, so I try not to. This is probably permanent, but it's not as bothersome as it might seem, probably mostly because for a good 2 months after the surgery I was completely numb in a larger region around the same area. The plate removal (see October 21) alleviated a lot of that, so I feel much more comfortable with this amount of nerve damage.
• My upper gums are still numb. This is really only weird when I floss, and sometimes when I eat something like chips and they get caught in my braces and poke up there. (Don't tell my orthodontist I eat chips, though.)
• I'm still wearing the braces and Dr. Ramsay still doesn't know when he'll be able to take them off. I still have an open bite on the right side of my mouth, which we're currently pulling together with elastics. Except this week. I noticed that the top tooth #6 (see that handy chart over there) was really loose from the elastics, so we're cooling it to let it settle in a little. If you haven't been able to tell from this post, or my last several, I am beginning to loathe my braces. They were fun or whatever for awhile, but it's been almost 2 years, and I'm about ready to have my teeth back.
• We're still making a large amount of medical payments every month (read: 50% of my monthly salary) and will owe about a third of my yearly salary in February of 2013 for the last payment.

Now for the pros
*caveat: more of the pros will probably be obvious once I get my braces off and everything has settled down with that

• I can breathe so much better than before. I think I've said it before, but I can't actually tell at this point, I just remember the feeling from the hospital room right after I had woken up. It's not just my airway in my throat that's opened up, my nasal area is much roomier, now too, so that's nice.
• I have full jaw opening capacities. One of the weirdest parts about surgery like this is how much you don't notice when it's happening. Like, after the surgery, I was wearing that huge splint and I was rubber banded all the time and I didn't even realize, I couldn't open my jaw even a finger's width. (FYI, the normal/good range is three fingers, stacked on top of one another - I can do about three and a half now). It took a long time to get that mobility back, but it's not something that feels strange or limiting at the time, except with yawning. I remember yawning being really uncomfortable... now I can express my boredom with ease, so that's good.
•  The results of the surgery from an oral surgery point of view were about as positive as they could have been. My teeth are the most occluded they've ever been, and it doesn't even feel weird anymore that my lower front teeth touch my upper ones when I shut my mouth. That took a long time to get used to.
• I've only had 1 or 2 headaches since the surgery, and like Jared always reminds me "even normal people get headaches". The biggest test for this will be after I get my braces off though, and life returns to normal, really.
• The surgery is over. This sounds like a weird and obvious statement, but I think I just fully realized it the other day. Something like this is so massive and just takes over your life, and it's such a relief so have it be behind me. And it's a little bit more behind me every day, which is just awesome. 
• Aside from the braces and my current haircut - both of which I never expected the surgery to fix, I'm not as self-conscious about photos anymore. My chin and jaw look like a normal person's.

So, that's what's up 6 months after the surgery. I probably won't update again until I get the braces off or until something major happens, or if I just get bored one night... thanks for reading :D

Day 134: Palate Retainer Blues

Happy New Year!

I have a baby cold right now, and it's the first time I've been sick since I stopped teaching in December of 2010, and boy, does it suck to be sick when you have a retainer in. At first, the retainer didn't bother me at all. Actually, at first, I was in love with the retainer because it saved me from the splint. Now, I've come to see its dark side... haha just kidding, but really, it's getting annoying. It's just becoming so much more comfortable when the retainer is out (for when I eat, etc.) But, I don't want to mess anything up just because I didn't want to wear a stupid retainer for a few more months, you know? The worst part about that is that even though I see the light at the end of the braces tunnel, what do you have to wear when you get your braces off? A retainer! So I'll be right back in the same boat, just able to take better pictures, which is the positive thought I've been keeping in my brain lately.

Really, I shouldn't complain though, I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to get my face broken :D

I promised awhile back that I'd post an outline of the costs, and after spending 30 minutes just now typing it all out, and getting the perfect balance of facts and witty remarks, I have decided to take back that offer. If you're curious about the costs because you're having the surgery yourself, or because you're just nosy (hey, don't worry about it, I'm nosy, too) I'd be happy to talk with you about it (as well as my fun fun adventures with the insurance company) one-on-one, but I'm thinking now that some of the financial stuff should just be kept off the internets at large. Feel free to email me at BethLauren22[at]gmail[dot]com and we can chat about it.

107 Days Since the Surgery...

Today was the 107th day since my surgery. Things have been relatively uneventful lately with my surgery stuff, I haven't had too many appointments with Dr. Voorhees or Dr. Ramsay. Dr. Voorhees's exact quote today was "If it looked any better, I'd scream."

My right cheek (maxilla) still feels a little weird. The best adjective I could ever come up with was "loose" but today Dr. Voorhees mentioned the word "spongy", which I agree with. Every time I mention it, though, he doesn't seem that concerned, which means one of two things: 1) it's actually not a big deal and I'm just being "Beth" about it or 2) it's something that he would worry about if there was anything to be done about it, but since there's nothing really to do... eh.

I also got all of my X-Rays today from post-surgery, because tomorrow I go to the *dun dun dun* dentist. For the first time in a long time... I know, I know, it's bad to not go every six months, but I've had so may other mouth appointments in the past year and a half, I just couldn't bring myself to inflict more pain than was strictly necessary. But now it's gotten to the point where my teeth are gonna be really gross when I get my braces off if I don't start shaping up (they might already be, but I guess I should try to not make it any worse).

Before and after x-rays (for your enjoyment). The biggest difference I see is the airway - it's so much bigger after the surgery
So, after my dentist appointment tomorrow, I'll see Dr. Ramsay the first week in January, but then I don't see Dr. Voorhees until next June. I didn't even schedule an appointment because it's so far out, their calendars don't go that far. I just made a note in my planner to call in June.

It's a weird realization that things are actually starting to wind down with all this craziness. I guess when I'm in the throes of something, it must be some kind of defense mechanism to get it into my head that it will never ever ever end. Because then you're not always the kid in the back seat whining "Are we there yet?" It's like, intellectually I like to know the limits, the times and approximate dates and durations, but emotionally, I just hunker down like it's going to be that way for the rest of my life. But now it's becoming very clear that this will not be for the rest of my life. In fact, I have a feeling that I'll be able to get the braces off sometime next summer. Then, this whole thing will just be a distant memory... I wish I could go back in time and give 3-days-out Beth a hug and tell her that everything turns out OK. That, and to pay attention to the right maxilla...

86 Days: Back to Bands, Ortho Takes the Lead

Day 86 after the surgery... it feels like it's been a whole year.

The weirdest thing about November? I'll only have one appointment with Dr. Voorhees the whole month. Granted, I saw him on October 31, and will see him December 7, but still... it's weird, right?

My mouth & retainer

I had an orthodontist appointment with Dr. Ramsay (my orthodontist) this morning. He added a power chain on the bottom to close some gaps, and a little kink in the upper wire to move this one tooth that's always been a problem. Other than that, he's taking it very slowly. He says that in cases of segmentation (they segmented my upper jaw), if he moves too fast, it could cause the bones to "warp" and they'd have to go back in and fix them surgically. That's also why I'm leaving in the palate retainer in, it will help to stabilize the whole situation up there. I told Dr. Ramsay it doesn't really bother me because my mouth was so small before and it's so much bigger now, that having the palate retainer in there is kind of just like having my old mouth back. So, it doesn't really bother me, although, it would be nice to be able to enjoy the fruits of my "labor" - or my endurance, anyway.  I asked Dr. Ramsay if he could just finish things up with a retainer, since there's not too much left to do, but he said he really needs the wires - oh, well - it was worth a shot!

Then, this afternoon I had my appointment with Dr. Voorhees (my oral surgeon). He doesn't seem worried about the weird feeling in my right maxilla, and wants me to resume wearing bands to pull up some teeth on my right mandible and also to shift the bite back a little.

Me & Jared 11/12/11

Everyone in both offices talked kind of a lot about how good everything looks, which is really comforting and feels good too. It's good for my self esteem. :)

72 Days: Will It Ever End?

Monday I had a follow-up from my plate removal with Dr. Voorhees - he said everything looks fine, he asked me if I felt lopsided, with 1 plate less. I asked him about what's going on with my right maxilla (what you and I would call my upper jaw, but what really feels like my cheek). He said it could be a number of things, but we have to wait and see, because it still could be part of the healing process. I asked him if he ever has to take out the upper plates, and he said sometimes. btw, I looked up stats on having to have plates removed, and it's only 12% of plates, and most of them are over 30, and it's mostly due to infection. But, now I don't see Dr. Voorhees for two weeks.

When something like this happens, my mentality falls into the same thing: this is going to last forever. This will never end.  I will always have uncomfortable metal pokie things in my mouth, and I'll never be able to eat normally again. EEEEVVVVEEEEERRRRR.

So, this morning I asked Dr. Ramsay when he thought I'd be able to get the braces off, and he said no more than a year. :/ But then he explained that when you segment the maxilla (upper jaw), you don't want to move things to quickly because it might be the bones moving, and not the teeth themselves. And then he wants to just let it set a little bit so that it gets all firmed up. And he wants to leave in my palate retainer to make sure that it's not moving around too much. I like my orthodontist cause he's pretty conservative about stuff, but I also really hate wearing braces. But then he said "But you'll get them off well within that year" - well within! So, probably not by my 25th birthday like I was hoping, but maybe not too long after that...

And, I asked Dr. Voorhees if I could eat whatever I wanted now, and he said yes, just as long as it doesn't hurt.

AND, my next appointments with Drs. Voorhees and Ramsay aren't until November 17th, which means next week will be the first week in about 11 weeks that I haven't been to see a dental health professional. A full week without somebody poking around in my mouth! I'm regaining my autonomy, slowly but surely. :D

66 Days Out (or 5,702,400 seconds)

Hello blogosphere!

Today is the 6th day after the plate removal and the 66th day after the surgery. I hope nothing bad happens, what with all those 6s...

Anyway, I went to the orthodontist yesterday, and he put a wire in my upper teeth for the first time in 67 days. Dr. Voorhees segmented my upper jaw, so the middle four teeth were kind of moved up and around and stuff... it's hard to describe. But, it's now Dr. Ramsay's job to pull them down in line with the rest of my mouth. He's doing it super carefully, though, I have to go and see him in a week and keep my retainer in all the time. Don't want my face collapsing in on itself! Haha, jay-kay, ell-oh-ell.

Back into Dr. Voorhees on Monday, more updates then! Until then, here's a bite close-up. I don't have any food in my teeth, those are just gaps for Dr. Ramsay to fill. It's weird to have gaps, I've had like, 6 teeth pulled because my mouth was too crowded, now it's super roomy. Neat!

I was going to post a 'before' picture, but then I found some pictures I took of my smile/teeth before I had braces on, and then I made myself depressed, so I'm not going to perpetuate that.

Have I mentioned that I can't wait to get my braces off?

Me as Thing 2 for Halloween at work

5,270,400 seconds (61 Days)

Yesterday was the 61st day, the 2 month marker of the big surgery. One more month before I hit the 3 month mark where "95% of my healing will be done." Although, I'm not sure how this plate removal is going to throw things off.

Anyway, here's what I remember about yesterday:

• 7:30am wake up and shower
• 8am arrive at Dr. Voorhees's office
• 8:05am go back to the room
• 8:10 Dr. Voorhees puts in my IV and tells me I'll start to feel relaxed soon and I say "In theory" and Dr. Voorhees laughs and says "In practice." I start to feel kind of sleepy
• Some short time after that: I check with Dr. Voorhees to make sure they're not going to leave me in the room alone to get used to the drugs, because that's what the other office did when they extracted my teeth last year, they left me alone in a room, hooked up to NO2, and I had a panic attack. I don't remember him answering this question. 
• 10am I'm in the recovery room and have the extreme urge to throw up. I'm handed a blue plastic barf bag and proceed to throw up the contents of my stomach, which wasn't much, because when they're going to IV sedate you, there are eating rules. There was a guy next to me recovering from what I assume was wisdom teeth extraction, and his wife was sitting next to him, and they had a baby, which would not stop making noise. Coming down from drugs is kind of like a migraine. You just want everything dark and quiet so you can go to sleep. Well, at least they didn't protest when I asked Jared to turn off the TV.
• 10:15am we head home, trusty vomit bag in hand
• 10:30am we arrive home, I make it back to my green chair (oh, how I love/hate you green chair!), and I vomit up some more. I think I got a little car sick on top of the drug stuff. I then take a little nap. 
• 12pm I wake up, then wake Jared to ask if he's hungry - this is just my polite way of asking Jared to get or make me some food. What I really want is some tortilla soup from Santa Rita, where Jared works. He reluctantly agrees to go up there after dropping this bombshell on me: no chewing for a week! What?! That wasn't part of the deal. But, Dr. Voorhees told Jared that it's to let the stitches to their thing.
• 1pm Jared returns with soup but insists on blending it because of the no chewing thing (their tortilla soup is kinda chunky). I protest, because it looks like somebody already ate it and then puked it up in my bowl, but then eat it and it still tastes good.
• 1:30pm I fall back asleep after taking the one and only Trammadol that I've had to take for this part. 
• 4:30pm I wake up and spend the rest of the night resting and watching TV. 

And like I said, I've only had to take the one pain pill. It really doesn't hurt at all. Although, I'm not moving my mouth hardly at all, so that's probably helping. And yesterday when we went to HEB, it kind of started pounding, so I think a lot of movement (and therefore increased heart rate) isn't too good for it. It actually looks a lot worse than it is, it just looks like I'm walking around with a golf ball in my cheek. Maybe I can pretend that I'm chewing tobacco or gum, which makes me fit in well with all the World Series craziness.

51 Days: Follow Up Number 2,340,892 and a half

I feel like I've been split in two, and half of me feels like I've been doing this forever and the other half just feels like the surgery was last week and I'm still a ways away from being healed.

Anyway, yesterday I had another follow up with Dr. Voorhees. We will definitely be taking the plate out next Friday, because while it is no longer inflamed and bothering me (thanks to the Peridex rinse), it is still exposed, which is kind of bad when it comes to bones and such. I'll skip breakfast and lunch, go in at 1:30, he'll drug me up, cut open my face again, unscrew the plate (he told me I can keep it, yay/gross!), and then I get to go home and have a really crappy weekend. But he has assured me that it's not even as bad as a tooth extraction, so we'll see.

My bands are lighter and much more optional now, I can start sleeping on the side of my face again (hallelujah! apparently I'm the only person ever who can't sleep on her back), and my diet is almost unrestricted. I just have to stop when it hurts. Which is just general good advice to follow.

Stellar photography 10/14/11

My newest issue is my right "cheek". I say cheek, because that's what you or I would call it when describing it. Dr. Voorhees calls it my maxilla. It still feels "loose" to me, but Dr. Voorhees got in there and wiggled it around and said it's fine. So, it's still healing, but on track. But, I did start taking some calcium supplements because I'm paranoid.

At this point I am 39 days from the promised 90-day 95% recovered land, so I'm just trying to stay afloat until then. It's weird, stuff you would never think about in your normal life makes it hard to keep up morale after something like this. You think if you can make it through acute yet relatively short initial period, that you won't have problems with the after period, but it's proving to be difficult, just in a different way. Until yesterday, I couldn't sleep normally, I can't eat normally, or talk normally, or even wash my face normally. It's been exhausting, but at least every day is a little better.

Oh yeah, I got a couple awesome bumper stickers over the weekend:

Day 44: 6 Week Report Card

Day 44, which is about halfway toward the big milestone of 90 days. In theory, most of my healing will be done at 90 days, or 3 months. 6 months is when I should expect to see the results I'll see for the rest of my life, but 3 months is when I'll hopefully be all healed up.

Today I had a check up to determine the status of my plate situation and decide what's to be done about that. It's still exposed, so on the 21st of October, my palatial plate comes out. Quoth Dr. Voorhees, "We're not relying on the plates anymore to hold the structure." So, out it comes. The right one will stay in because it's not hurting anything, so we'll just leave well enough alone. I asked if I could keep the plate afterward, and he said sure. So that's cool. A little gross, and I'll probably end up throwing it out eventually, but I just want to see it, you know?

AND the best news of all... I am starting to recover feeling in my left chin & lower lip! I woke up this morning and when when I touch that area (it's the last numb spot left) I get all sorts of spider web tinglies. I haven't talked about it too much because I was really trying not to think about it, but it's not going to be numb forever! Yay!

On another note, I think it's time to stop making excuses about food. It turns out that it's really easy to eat a whole lot of crap when you're on a mushy diet. Especially sugary foods. There was a three week period where I had a slushie from Sonic every day. Other foods that are mushy: brownies, marshmallows, cereal (once it's wet - the best kind is the sugary stuff like honey nut Chex), tater tots... getting the picture? And between that and the altered blood flow, face washing routine plus always wearing my glasses equals some gross skin. So, I'm going to start trying to eat better, because 45 days out from the surgery my excuses are dwindling...

non-sequitur-p.s. honey is just as bad for you as sugar, same with high fructose corn syrup. The only difference is that high fructose corn syrup is so cheap it makes it ubiquitous, and that's what's bad for you, no matter what Vicks or any other organic whatever may try to convince you.

Day the 40th: Activity of the Physical Variety

Today we made a trip over to REI for a new backpack for Jared. Since I use the car every weekday and he's on his bike, he uses a backpack kind of like I use the backseat, just on a smaller scale. Anyway, the point was, while he was backpack shopping, I found a really cool bike helmet that was on sale. I've been biking around the neighborhood almost every night for exercise. I guess before the surgery, my main form of exercise was stress, but I've found the less active I am after the surgery, the worse I feel, both mentally and physically. I guess it's like that normally, but I've been active most of my life, so I just never noticed that being sedentary all the time makes you feel crappy.

I think it helps a lot to make exercise more enjoyable that I can breathe better now. Not only in my throat, but the upper jaw surgery really opened up my... face? I don't know what the correct way to describe it. I guess you could call it my sinuses. Anyway, I get so much oxygen through my nose now it's ridiculous. It wasn't as obvious at the beginning because of all the swelling, but the more that goes down, the more I can tell stuff has changed. My nose seems much wider than it was before, so it's kind of like wearing a BreathRight strip, but just all the time. It's pretty cool. Like LASIK for my nose.

Anyway, I had Jared take a picture of my awesome new helmet right before I rode over to a friend's house to watch Texas play Iowa State. You can still see that unfortunately my smile's a little lopsided. I'm hoping that will get fixed when this whole left side plate issue works itself out, because I look a little like a 24 year old stroke victim. I think it's just because the lower left side is still kind of stiff and swollen from that issue. Also, if you look at my xrays, you can see that the left plate is significantly higher than the right, which is probably why it's not sitting as well.** My whole mouth area just looks bigger, which looks a little funny, but I'm thinking that's just cause I'm not yet used to it. It's definitely more functional, which is obviously the more important part.  Also in the xray, you can see all the freaky screws along my sinus area. I was trying to describe it to Jared today, because there is a little "looseness" - nothing bad, Dr. Voorhees checked when I asked about it - along the upper right jaw. That word, "looseness" doesn't sit well with Jared though, so I tried to elaborate, and after some thought, the only way I could describe it other than that was "It feels like somebody cut into the bone of your upper jaw, moved it, then put it back together with a bunch of tiny screws." Haha - aren't I so creative? But really, imagine that, and that's really what it feels like. At least it's not painful anymore!

** I think I may be overestimating the power of the plates, because when I asked Dr. Voorhees if it would weaken the left side if we took out the plate, he said not at all. I think the word "plate" is a little misleading. It's more like a metal butterfly bandage or something. If he has to take the one on the left out, I'm going to ask Jared to take a picture of it, from a couple angles so we can see what's really in there! It's really neat that the best thing for your body is just your body. It's really better to have the bone all healed up and ready to go than even a titanium plate in there.

Anyway, the further I get away from the surgery and the first week of hell, the more glad I am that I had the surgery. The benefits thus far have been pretty awesome, and they work their way into just about every part of my life. There are some lingering issues, but nothing too big. Still sleeping in my chair (can't put pressure on my jaws, and I am unable to sleep on my back), still numb on the lower left side (although the nerves seem to be waking up little by little), still a little limited diet-wise (although the issues with this are actually less intrusive than my normal diet restrictions, so this part has really been no big deal at all for me), still making the payments (ugh!), and of course, still wearing the braces & palate retainer, but none of those things are unbearable, and they're also all temporary.

**Warning: the below part is kind of mushy, so don't read it if you're not prepared...

I'd like to take a second and thank Jared again for all his support and kindness during this whole process. I already told him he's never allowed to have surgery of any kind because there's no way I could be as strong as he's been. From bringing a sleeping bag to the hospital to stay with me, to holding the bucket while I threw up blood, to waking up without batting an eyelash every 4 hours to administer medicine, to holding my hand while I cried in frustration, to cooking and cleaning and helping with pretty much everything I did without a single hint of complaint, to the weeks after the surgery, when he picks me back up when I get low about the snail's pace the progress is taking, to all the things he does that I don't even see or know about, it has taken what can only be an unimaginable amount of patience and love. Although it's been a long 40 days for me, I'm know it's been just as long for Jared, but you wouldn't know it to hear him talk. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful partner, I can't imagine having done this without him.

39 Days: Healing, But Paranoidally.

Thursday I had another OGS (orthognathic surgery) follow-up appointment. Everything's going well. The incision still hasn't closed. I asked Dr. Voorhees if he could just stitch it up, to help it out, and apparently, that won't work. It's like a drug addict - it has to want to stay together, or it never will. He said next week we'll decide if the plate needs to come out, to which I replied "Well, you'll decide, and I'll most likely agree."

But now that that's been an issue, and I'm starting to be able to "chew" a little more (the 6 week mark is on Tuesday), I have become absolutely PARANOID about something going wrong. I feel like I have to check every little thing all the time. Dr. Voorhees always laughs because every time I come in with a list of questions or comments. Well, the first couple times after the surgery I didn't have a list of questions, and I told him that's how he could know I was feeling back to my normal self, when I brought my list in for the first time after the surgery.

It's weird though, because normally when you're healing or the like, you try to focus on what your body is telling you, and you ajust to that, because body usually knows best. But for some of the stuff on this, it feels weird, but it's supposed to feel weird, because there's a whole new bone structure. So I don't know if it feels weird normal or feels weird bad. That's why I'm glad I see Dr. Voorhees once a week. Honestly, I wouldn't mind going more than that, but I'm pretty sure there's not really a need. Plus I've started seeing my orthodontist again, too, so, checkups all around.

I haven't posted a picture in awhile, because at first, it was like, I didn't care if I looked weird or gross, because there was a reason - it was for science. But now almost all of the swelling is gone, and I look almost back to "normal", but I still haven't gotten the knack of smiling with the remaining numbness and stiffness, plus my mouth is a little lopsided right now as the muscles re-adjust, and it just makes me a little self-conscious. Another ready-made excuse is that pictures always look a little off when you take them yourself, so I like to have Jared take them, and he's not really super pumped about photography, so I have to remember to ask him, and I can conveniently "forget" if I'm feeling a little gloomy that day. BUT I'll try to stop being such a diva and post some pictures soon.

Day 36: Look Ma, No Hooks!

This morning I went to the orthodontist. Another office where we might pay more than others but all the staff is so nice and genuinely concerned with my well-being. Anyway, Dr. Voorhees (oral surgeon) had given Dr. Ramsay (orthodontist) the go-ahead to start the orthodontics, but because of this stupid opening on the left side of my mouth (where my incision has opened to reveal my swanky new titanium jaw), he doesn't want to "push it". He said if he starts moving things around, it may affect the way I hold my jaw, etc., which could compromise the healing of that incision. I appreciate the style, and know it's the best thing to do, but I was hoping to get started sooner rather than later, because I'd really really really really really love to have my braces off by my 25th birthday (April 3). Even though I know that's probably not realistic.

But it's not his fault the stupid plate isn't cooperating. Or rather, the tissue around the plate. So, no new wire or bands today.

The exciting thing that did happen, however, was the removal of my surgery hooks! Now, you may say to yourself, braces are pretty bad, and it sucks to have all that metal all up in your mouth business. I agree, but you know what's worse than that? Wired hooks on top of the braces. They serve a function in surgery, for placing and holding, and then right after, for the bands, but it feels soooo good to have them off. Almost as good as when Dr. Voorhees took out the splint.

I really have had a very blessed recovery, though, current predicament aside. I was reading some other peoples' blogs, and some people had to keep their splints in for months instead of weeks. Or do the surgery more than once, or deal with all sorts of myriad problems that are too gross to recant. Makes it a lot easier to justify going with the expensive surgeon and orthodontist. :)

Day 35: Administrative Details

Good news! I now have to go to a "date calculator" website to find out how many days its been since my surgery. It seems like it was so long ago,  but really it's just almost 5 weeks.

The incision site is still open, and after some (careful) further inspection last night involving a chopstick and a flashlight, it is really open. Like, I can definitely see the plate with my inexperienced eye. Then it made me a little sick to my stomach, so I stopped looking, but it's good to know what I'm dealing with. I want to hope for the best, especially with my (heretofore) miraculous powers of healing, but practically, I can feel the plate in my jaw constantly on the left and I can't feel it at all on the right, so I'm thinking it's going to have to come out.

The good news is that I had previously believed that my health insurance plan, which is through a school district, ran September-September, and since my surgery was in August, I maxed out my deductible for that year, but then I started over in September. Imagine my surprise when my insurance copayment (usually around $40-$50 - I have a HDHP) was 0$! I emailed the BCBSTX people to make sure, and the year is January-January! Yay! So if Dr. Voorhees does have to go back in and fix something, hopefully a lot of it will be covered.

I've started receiving EOBs (explanations of benefits for those not in the very fortunate crowd of having to deal with health insurance on a sometimes daily basis...) for all the surgery stuff. At first, when they told me they'd be paying for only 1.7% of the surgeon's fees, I kind of threw a fit and said "I don't care, I'm sick of dealing with it, I'm not going to do it, I'm not. I'm just not." Jared, in his infinite patience, responded "You don't have to deal with it now, give yourself a week or two, but then you need to call, you know that, right?" Me: "Hmph"

So, I wrote it in my planner for today last week, and actually followed through, so today I called & got everything as fixed up as it can be, so now they're paying 11% of the fees, and he still has to correct the assistant surgeon's fees, which he'll do Wednesday (apparently, there's a 5 day waiting period), so there might even be a little bit more coming my way. Like I said, once everything is nice and settled in my banking account, I'll post a full disclosure of the fees, and a little commentary to go with, which I know everyone always loves. Right now, not including the braces, it's about half and half what the insurance paid and what we're paying. I'm pretty happy with that, considering we decided to go out of network.

No pics from 9/16, here's one from 9/29

I guess I'll go ahead and clear that up now, too. It's costing a significant amount more to go out of network with Dr. Voorhees (even though we got an in-network exception, we still have to pay the difference between the "allowable amount" from BCBS and what Dr. Voorhees charges), but Jared & I talked about it and we both came to the conclusion that we liked Dr. Voorhees and his staff so much that we would continue with him. When somebody is cutting open your face, it's important that you not only trust them, but that you are comfortable being around them. Especially for me. For sure there are different doctor styles, and these fit different patients differently, and Dr. Voorhees is just an excellent fit for me. Plus, he's been practicing at this office since Jared was born, so that's some good experience! And even the surgery techs and medical assistants are all super friendly and helpful, and even nice about helping to calm me down if I start to get a little freaked out.

Normally, Jared & I don't "upgrade" because we're usually fine with the bare bones option. We even have pay by the minute/text phone plans (old school). But, we decided to do go all out on this, and we did the same thing with Jared's LASIK - what could be important than your health and comfort?

So, moving right along with the progress. I see my orthodontist tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll have a small update after that.

1 month marker: Fun, fun, fun!

Today/tomorrow will be my 1-monthiversary from the surgery. I had a follow up appointment today with Dr. Voorhees. And to start off what would prove to be a pretty bad day, I showed up for my appointment at 8am, only to find out that my appointment was for 4:30. Whoops. All the appointments have made me a little lazy with actually checking my planner. But he was able to see me in the morning anyway. Everything looking good. A little adjustment of the bands, and the go-ahead to start back with the orthodontics. So that's exciting.

Then I had a bad day, and then around 2, I noticed hey, there's a cut in the crease of my left gum/cheek area, and it's dark red, and the area around it is a little inflammed, and the part of my jaw feels a little stiff in the same area. Crap.

So, I called Dr. Voorhees's office and asked if I could come in this afternoon to have him check on it, and in the meantime, worked myself into kind of a nice stress-frenzy about it. Well, thankfully I only had about an hour to do that, then I headed out for my appointment.

As it turns out, the incision was Dr. Voorhees's, so that's good, no new wounds, but the bad is that the titanium plate they put in my jaw is visible through the incision, and is the reason it's not closing up. The doctor has to "stretch" the tissues over the plate, and they don't always close up like they should. He re-prescribed the peridex rinse, to keep it from getting infected while it's still open. It should close. My question - "What if it doesn't?" Well, he would have to go in and remove the plate (as soon as the bone healed, of course) so the incision could close up. My face: ! How bad would that be? It's an out-patient procedure that they do in his office, nothing near as bad as the surgery.

*sigh* I'm just ready for it all to be over.

But, I did take another X-Ray at the appointment, and the nice medical assistant printed me out a copy. Here it is, compared to my one from January of this year. I can't see much of a difference from the front, except it does seem to be rotated up a little. I need to get copies of the profile x-rays...

Day 30: Moving Right Along

Day 30... sorry for the lack of updateness lately. Work has been really busy, and I've had like, at least 3 mouth appointments a week. I had my first appointment with my orthodontist on Tuesday. He sympathized about the front of my mouth (when they closed up the back the front got kinda janky), but said that it's way way easier to close up the front with orthodontics than the back, so that was comforting. And it's nice to be able to complain a little about the way I look to someone who understands! I mean, he fixes bites, yes, but part of what he does as well is make people pretty.

I'm still wearing the retainer and 2 bands during the day and one in the middle at night. (see diagram - it's pretty accurate, except I don't have 4/8 of my canine teeth, but you get the picture). It's nothing compared to the splint, but I definitely talk with a lisp while my retainer is in, and even a little with it out. Parts of my cheeks and a little of the left side of my lip are numb, so I'm sure that's effecting it a little. Hopefully once ALL the swelling goes away and I've regained feeling everywhere, I'll be able to talk normally again. It makes sense, though, because one of the biggest reason for my messed up bite was that the inside of my bite was too small for my tongue, so it pressed up against all the teeth and messed everything up. And the tongue has a lot to do with speech, so...

And, in theory, I will be able to start to "up" my diet in just 2 short weeks. Start phasing in some semi-solid foods. That will definitely be nice.

And we re-looked over the finances, and I think everything should work out a-okay, despite the fact that the insurance is (initially) saying it's going to pay for just a little bit over 1.5% of the surgeon's fees (which are not small). After everything's settled with that, I'll give a full breakdown of the costs, etc., for those who are curious. On the flip side, I'm only having to pay for 7% of the hospital costs, although St. David's gives a 60% discount if you don' t have insurance, so really we're paying for 17%, but still. Much better than 100%. But with the 18 months no-interest with the surgeon, we're making minimum payments to prevent interest, then we'll just have a really big 18th payment, but that's in 18 months, and hopefully I'll have received at least a couple raises by then. It's a solid plan, as far as plans go.

Hmmm... if TV is any indication, my mood has shifted greatly since the surgery. At first after the surgery, I watched The Office pretty much 24/7 - I think Jared was about to start wearing earplugs around the house - but now, I've shifted into Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Still funny, but a little more quippy and a little less L-O-L. Plus, it contains my doppelganger, Alyson Hannigan, who is tempting me to get a haircut...

I'll try to update when important stuff happens, but a lot of the important stuff is over now, and I know I said I wanted to update every day, but apparently it is not my destiny to become an orthognathic surgery bible blog...