Day 7: Ugh

Today, I started out feeling great. I didn't need to take any pain meds last night or this morning, and I was feeling super focused, I worked for like 6 hours, it was great. I figured I had awesome powers of healing or something...

And then it hit the fan. Jared arrived home at about 3:30 to me curled up in a little ball in my green chair, having just taken 2 ibuprofen and being really sick to my stomach. Then, given my reaction to pretty much any medication, I didn't see him again until he was leaving at 5:20, because I was sleeping like a pebble (baby rock).  I then promptly took my nausea meds, ate some dinner, and then take my other kind of pain meds, and now I feel fine. Probably planning to pass out in an hour or two.

But, lesson definitely learned: I do not recover from major surgery involving my mouth (and therefore affecting my eating and breathing) in a week.  Unfortunately.

Second lesson learned: instead of trying to get food into my mouth past 3 rubber bands, I just carefully note where they are placed, and then take them off, eat, and then slip them back on.

Third lesson learned: if you turn your phone off after having surgery, you will turn it back on to find 22 voicemails waiting for you...

I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, so we'll see how I'm feeling after that. I hate the feeling that pain meds give me, but I hate feeling sick much more, so from now on I think I'll just stick to the schedule until the swelling is almost all gone. I can't tell a difference from yesterday, so I guess it's declining more slowly, which sucks, but in theory it's going down.

In other news, I have a really nice excuse for staying inside and blasting the AC all day. Otherwise I would have had to feel 10-15% guilty for not moving around out-of-doors.

XOXO
Beth

p.s. thanks to my work friends for the beautiful flowers! a really nice surprise.

Day 6: Worse before it's better

Hey cyberland,

I am feeling a little better today, a little better every day :) The numbness along my jaw line is gone, but it's a little sensitive to touch. My chin, lips, and cheeks around my nose are still numb.

I had a check up appointment with Dr. Voorhees today, he said everything is looking good. He changed the bands a little and added one across the front. The reason (I think) is because the muscles want to go back to where they were before, and they've been there for so long that they would actually be able to pull the bones back "out" of place if they weren't "retrained", so I'm retraining them. Or rather, the bands are. I just got them today so they're pretty tight, and I have to keep my teeth in the surgical splint so they stay where they're supposed to.

So, that's the worse before it's better. I had just turned a good corner and I was feeling good, and now I feel like I'm taking a big step back, foodwise. It might be a problem with my meds too. It's very important to me to be able to take my sustained release Wellbutrin, because the immediate release was shooting me up and down when I was in the hospital. I was able to take it whole with the old bands, we'll see how it goes with the new ones.

Like I said before, I'm not looking at myself, because it seems like a bad idea, but I'll get Jared to post some pictures of my progress later tonight.

I've only been on a liquid diet for a week and already I miss chips and salsa, french fries, salad, rice and beans, chicken sandwiches, basically anything not pureed. And Jared can puree everything, and it tastes pretty good, but it's just not the same...

Another day and a half of R&R, then it's back to work (from home, thankfully, because like I said, just taking a shower is exhausting)...

Here's some pictures. Warning: I look SUPER gross. These pictures made me want to shower like, 6 times all in a row. Sorry for the grossness...
Also, a picture of all the voicemails, and my pretty flowers from my work friends.

Profile shot on Monday - isn't the bruising cute?

From the front on Monday (6 days)

Sooooo many messages

Pretty work flowers

Day 5: Zombied Out

Hello everyone! I got online with the best of intentions this morning - many people have sent notes, emails, etc with well wishes, and I wanted to respond to everyone. But then I had to deal with a banking problem, and I'm kind of wiped, so I'm just going to type it here and respond individually later. Also I'm not sure why the blog won't let you guys post comments, I'll try to look at it soon, but for now, you can always email at bethlauren22[at]gmail[dot]com ; also, my phone has been dead for like, 3 days now, I accidentally left the charger at work (I hope), so I'll try to get that soon. I wouldn't be able to talk on the phone anyway, it sounds like I have a mouth full of marshmallows right now, so I haven't made it a priority. But Jared goes back to work tomorrow, so I guess I'll have to, in case I need something.

The surgery actually made me a lot weaker/tired than I anticipated. Yesterday, I took 2 walks around the apartment (in the ac, not outside), and then took a 10 minute shower (because I was beyond gross), and got so tired, I fell into my chair and passed out. I'm told it's a combination of the drugs I'm taking, the limited calorie diet, and the almost entirely sedentary existence I've been leading over the past 5 days. So I guess that will come back in time.

My mom came down on Friday to help Jared out, he had been on 24-hour nursing duty before that and needed a good break. It was lucky that she got here in time to go to my appointment, because it was a disaster. I don't know about anyone else, but when I feel badly, the absolute last thing I want to do is leave the house. But, doctor's orders, so we went and did that. I'm sure I would have been more embarrassed if it hadn't been so uncomfortable for me.

I've been trying to eat as much as possible, but that, too, is slow going. The not being able to eat dairy thing severely limits my dietary options for syringe-able foods, but I'm sure we'll get through it eating something. It's hard because I try to eat before every pain pill (usually every 2 hours), so I get sick of certain foods pretty quickly. But, I figure that lessens the chances of the pills making me sick while at the same time, forcing me to eat food even if I don't really feel like it.

Also, I have not looked at myself in a mirror yet. I was worried it might send me into some spiral freak-out mode, and there's nothing I really need to see anyway. But I know Jared's been posting pictures - I hope they've made you feel better about your face, because I can almost guarantee that it is as uncomfortable if not more so than it looks. I've been relying on Jared and my mom to tell me in which direction the swelling is going. Last night my mom said I looked almost normal, if I had a little bit chubbier cheeks and Goldie Hawn's lips in the First Wives' Club. So that was heartening.

A little less heartening was the bill I got in my email today... my first minimum payment. But, what's more important than your health, right? This is what I keep telling myself.

Phew. Time for a nap.
Beth

Day 4: Over the Hump

[posted by my loving husband, nurse, dietitian, chef, pharmacist, and cheerleader, Jared]

Well, I think she's finally through the worst of it.  The swelling has gone down considerably and she seems to be in not quite as agonizing of pain.  Beth's mom arrived Friday afternoon and, having not gotten more than three consecutive hours of sleep over the past 4 days, I was thrilled to be able to take a break.  I don't think I would have been able to do it without her help because I was really at the point exhaustion after 24 hours a day nursing for 4 days.  So thanks to LeeAnn I got a solid nine hours of sleep staying at a friends last night!

Dr. Vorhees assured us that everything looked good during our visit on Friday so everything has gone according to plan so far and hopefully in a few weeks Beth will be feeling better than ever.  She has already noticed that she can breath better with her jaw not cinching down on the back of her throat.

I made some chicken and rice with green beans tonight and threw it all in the blender with some chicken broth to make a surprisingly tasty soup.  She's put down quite a bit of smoothie and baby food as well so I've been surprised and encouraged by how much she's been able to eat.  That should really jump-start her recovery process.  Friday really felt like hump day after her nausea reached fever pitch on the way to the Doctor's office and then with her considerable lessening of pain and swelling going into Saturday.  Everyday since Wednesday she's asked me if she was through the worst of it and I've summarily lied until today when I said 'yes' and realized that was actually the truth.  

Day 3: First checkup appointment

[added 9/11/11]

I was going back through some posts from the early days, and realized that what Jared considered Day 3 (Thursday) was actually Day 2, so we had 2 posts from Thursday (one by me in the morning and one by him at night after my discharge), but none from Friday, so I wanted to write a little bit about that experience, because some stuff actually did happen.

The swelling was still increasing at this point, and I was in a lot of discomfort. It was exhausting for me just to get from my green chair to the bathroom. Around 2 in the afternoon, I started feeling... just kind of bad, in general. My digestive system had started working a little bit, so that was uncomfortable, and then we had an appointment with Dr. Voorhees at 3:30. My mom, who is a pre-school teacher was thankfully able to take off the afternoon (during the first week of school!), so she arrived at about 2:30, and quickly assured me that not looking in the mirror was the correct decision for me. It was really excellent that she got here before my appointment because she was very helpful.

Jared sort of downplayed it in his post because he's really nice, but on Thursday when we were leaving the hospital, I had a pretty major meltdown. I cried when they said I could be discharged, and my nurse said I was probably just physically and emotionally exhausted, because I did want to get home, and I wasn't worried about being out of the hospital, I just cried. Then poor Jared had to walk me through the whole hospital to the parking garage (it might not have been that long, but it felt like a long walk), with me kind of hunched over, and of course looking like somebody just hit me in the face with a baseball bat, and sort of whimpering the whole time. By the time we made it to the car, I didn't want to leave. The ride home seemed as if it would be interminable, and I just didn't see how I was going to do it. We really almost turned around and went back in, but Jared, who has always been excellent in times of panic, put his foot down when he realized it was just me freaking out and not any actual pain or problems. The ride home was really long, not helped by the fact that I've always been prone to car sickness, but we made it, and Jared deposited me in the green chair and went to go get my pain meds from Walgreens (I had been unwilling to wait the 5-10 minutes they said it would take when we had driven by on the way home).

So, back to Friday, a car ride wasn't high on my list of exciting activities. I even wrote in my book "Can't Dr. Voorhees come here?" and when asked why he would do that I responded "Cause I'm special", but I knew that wasn't a real possibility. So, the car ride to the doctor was another long one, with my mom in the backseat trying to keep me from swaying too much with the motion of the car, while Jared tried to walk the tightrope of not jostling me too much while getting to the doctor (and therefore out of the car) as soon as possible.

If I hadn't felt so badly, I probably would have been kind of embarrassed about my behavior at the doctor, but I wasn't feeling well, and I was loopy on pain meds still, so I'm just trying to let it go. We were taken to the "recovery" area (I guess for people who have outpatient stuff, like extractions), and when Dr. Voorhees showed up, I kind of just broke. I guess the somewhat shaky rationale behind my emotional turn was "You're the doctor, and I'm not supposed to feel this badly when there's a doctor around". It's good that my mom knows sign language, because I was able to say most of what I needed to say without worrying about writing. Dr. Voorhees did a quick inspection of my mouth, and then said he would see me on Monday. Relieved, we went back home and filled me with anti-nausea and pain medication.

On a side note, the first thing that Jared did when relieved by my mom on Friday was clean (and when Jared cleans, he really cleans, as opposed to what he calls my "straightening up") the kitchen. Needless to say, cleaning the kitchen makes a little bit of noise, and when I complained to my mom and asked her to go tell him to be quiet, she said "He's cleaning the kitchen", implying that I should be grateful to have a husband who, upon being given freedom from nursing duties, immediately turns to cleaning to make the next nurse's job easier. I guess I take my awesome husband for granted sometimes...

Day 2: Released from the Hospital (Jared's entry at night)

Hey this is Jared.  While reluctantly leaving the hospital at about midnight last night with itchy, red hives covering half my body I briefly thought about how I'd ignored some milder flare-ups earlier in the day, beginning around when I arrived in Beth's room, and wondered if that was going to cost me with this seeming like more than just an allergic reaction.  Fortunately, I suppose, Beth's condition was what butted its way into my mental space most often.  Upon coming home and crawling into bed I was still mainly just feeling guilty about leaving Beth all alone at the Hospital.  The young girl nurse on duty at the time was dismissive and had seemed bothered earlier when I'd asked her about making the IV machine stop beeping.  At one point, having not been able to reach her by phone, I stepped out into the hall to find her leisurely chit-chatting with another young nurse.  So despite my grotesque condition I had not really been thinking about leaving until Beth assured me that she would be fine and that I should go home and rest.  Waking to her phone call at 5 that morning, I was relieved to find almost all the hives gone but certainly not looking forward to going back in that room.  Sure enough they came back in full force within a couple hours confirming Beth's hypothesis of an allergic reaction to the room.  I took some Benadryl and they all went away within an hour.  Crazy!

Beth and I took a walk through the Hospital gardens and she looked very stable but a little drowsy.  She was eating and drinking a fair amount and feeling good with the oral meds so Dr. Vorhees gave us the OK to go home.  However, Beth's initial excitement waned when we entered the parking lot and started to open the car doors.  She almost wanted to go check back in as she was rocked by a wave of nausea.  She was kind of depressed when we got home but took some meds and has been asleep for awhile so hopefully she can sleep through the night.  Swelling will peak tomorrow so we'll see exactly what we're dealing with but I think she's going to be much smaller than most of the pictures we looked at before the surgery.  All signs point to a great outcome it's just a miserable situation right now.

Day 2: August 25 (Beth's entry in the morning)

In a little more pain today, and feeling a little more swollen. I might get discharged today, which is good news & bad news. Had a small freak out this morning because I slept pretty well for about 6 hours, which means no pain meds or ice for about 6 hours. Plus, Jared is allergic to something in my hospital room, so he had to go home to sleep last night. So I was woken up at 5:15 with no meds, no ice, and no Jared.

But really, it hasn't been that bad. As long as I can get down 1 L of liquid today, move around a little bit, and control my pain with oral medication (instead of IV), I'll get to go home! The nausea hasn't come back since the first little bit, so that's good. I can really feel the surgical splint today, so I'm hoping that doesn't have to stay in too too much longer.

I talked with the assistant surgeon and he said the surgery went really well, and they got everything all lined up, so that's really heartening. At least it's not all for nothing! And it's all downhill from here. I think I'll start trying to take my Wellbutrin pills today if I can. I can really feel the ups and downs of the immediate release.

My breathing is still a lot better than it was before the surgery, even with all the swelling. I do get fatigued pretty easily though, so I'm gonna go get some rest. Jared might want to write more later, but he'll definitely be able to add some photos (I still don't want to look at them until my swelling has really gone. Yes, I know, I'm a whimp) I might be forgetting things, So if you think of any interesting questions, email me or leave a comment.

XOXO
Beth