Today we made a trip over to REI for a new backpack for Jared. Since I use the car every weekday and he's on his bike, he uses a backpack kind of like I use the backseat, just on a smaller scale. Anyway, the point was, while he was backpack shopping, I found a really cool bike helmet that was on sale. I've been biking around the neighborhood almost every night for exercise. I guess before the surgery, my main form of exercise was stress, but I've found the less active I am after the surgery, the worse I feel, both mentally and physically. I guess it's like that normally, but I've been active most of my life, so I just never noticed that being sedentary all the time makes you feel crappy.
I think it helps a lot to make exercise more enjoyable that I can breathe better now. Not only in my throat, but the upper jaw surgery really opened up my... face? I don't know what the correct way to describe it. I guess you could call it my sinuses. Anyway, I get so much oxygen through my nose now it's ridiculous. It wasn't as obvious at the beginning because of all the swelling, but the more that goes down, the more I can tell stuff has changed. My nose seems much wider than it was before, so it's kind of like wearing a BreathRight strip, but just all the time. It's pretty cool. Like LASIK for my nose.
Anyway, I had Jared take a picture of my awesome new helmet right before I rode over to a friend's house to watch Texas play Iowa State. You can still see that unfortunately my smile's a little lopsided. I'm hoping that will get fixed when this whole left side plate issue works itself out, because I look a little like a 24 year old stroke victim. I think it's just because the lower left side is still kind of stiff and swollen from that issue. Also, if you look at my
xrays, you can see that the left plate is significantly higher than the right, which is probably why it's not sitting as well.** My whole mouth area just looks bigger, which looks a little funny, but I'm thinking that's just cause I'm not yet used to it. It's definitely more functional, which is obviously the more important part. Also in the xray, you can see all the freaky screws along my sinus area. I was trying to describe it to Jared today, because there is a little "looseness" - nothing bad, Dr. Voorhees checked when I asked about it - along the upper right jaw. That word, "looseness" doesn't sit well with Jared though, so I tried to elaborate, and after some thought, the only way I could describe it other than that was "It feels like somebody cut into the bone of your upper jaw, moved it, then put it back together with a bunch of tiny screws." Haha - aren't I so creative? But really, imagine that, and that's really what it feels like. At least it's not painful anymore!
** I think I may be overestimating the power of the plates, because when I asked Dr. Voorhees if it would weaken the left side if we took out the plate, he said not at all. I think the word "plate" is a little misleading. It's more like a metal butterfly bandage or something. If he has to take the one on the left out, I'm going to ask Jared to take a picture of it, from a couple angles so we can see what's really in there! It's really neat that the best thing for your body is just your body. It's really better to have the bone all healed up and ready to go than even a titanium plate in there.
Anyway, the further I get away from the surgery and the first week of hell, the more glad I am that I had the surgery. The benefits thus far have been pretty awesome, and they work their way into just about every part of my life. There are some lingering issues, but nothing too big. Still sleeping in my chair (can't put pressure on my jaws, and I am unable to sleep on my back), still numb on the lower left side (although the nerves seem to be waking up little by little), still a little limited diet-wise (although the issues with this are actually less intrusive than my normal diet restrictions, so this part has really been no big deal at all for me), still making the payments (ugh!), and of course, still wearing the braces & palate retainer, but none of those things are unbearable, and they're also all temporary.
**Warning: the below part is kind of mushy, so don't read it if you're not prepared...
I'd like to take a second and thank Jared again for all his support and kindness during this whole process. I already told him he's never allowed to have surgery of any kind because there's no way I could be as strong as he's been. From bringing a sleeping bag to the hospital to stay with me, to holding the bucket while I threw up blood, to waking up without batting an eyelash every 4 hours to administer medicine, to holding my hand while I cried in frustration, to cooking and cleaning and helping with pretty much everything I did without a single hint of complaint, to the weeks after the surgery, when he picks me back up when I get low about the snail's pace the progress is taking, to all the things he does that I don't even see or know about, it has taken what can only be an unimaginable amount of patience and love. Although it's been a long 40 days for me, I'm know it's been just as long for Jared, but you wouldn't know it to hear him talk. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful partner, I can't imagine having done this without him.
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