39 Days: Healing, But Paranoidally.

Thursday I had another OGS (orthognathic surgery) follow-up appointment. Everything's going well. The incision still hasn't closed. I asked Dr. Voorhees if he could just stitch it up, to help it out, and apparently, that won't work. It's like a drug addict - it has to want to stay together, or it never will. He said next week we'll decide if the plate needs to come out, to which I replied "Well, you'll decide, and I'll most likely agree."

But now that that's been an issue, and I'm starting to be able to "chew" a little more (the 6 week mark is on Tuesday), I have become absolutely PARANOID about something going wrong. I feel like I have to check every little thing all the time. Dr. Voorhees always laughs because every time I come in with a list of questions or comments. Well, the first couple times after the surgery I didn't have a list of questions, and I told him that's how he could know I was feeling back to my normal self, when I brought my list in for the first time after the surgery.

It's weird though, because normally when you're healing or the like, you try to focus on what your body is telling you, and you ajust to that, because body usually knows best. But for some of the stuff on this, it feels weird, but it's supposed to feel weird, because there's a whole new bone structure. So I don't know if it feels weird normal or feels weird bad. That's why I'm glad I see Dr. Voorhees once a week. Honestly, I wouldn't mind going more than that, but I'm pretty sure there's not really a need. Plus I've started seeing my orthodontist again, too, so, checkups all around.

I haven't posted a picture in awhile, because at first, it was like, I didn't care if I looked weird or gross, because there was a reason - it was for science. But now almost all of the swelling is gone, and I look almost back to "normal", but I still haven't gotten the knack of smiling with the remaining numbness and stiffness, plus my mouth is a little lopsided right now as the muscles re-adjust, and it just makes me a little self-conscious. Another ready-made excuse is that pictures always look a little off when you take them yourself, so I like to have Jared take them, and he's not really super pumped about photography, so I have to remember to ask him, and I can conveniently "forget" if I'm feeling a little gloomy that day. BUT I'll try to stop being such a diva and post some pictures soon.